For those trapped within their sin
I don’t know, I don’t care
I’m locked away and don’t know where
My fingers—they grasp! amid blood and tears
Screaming. Moaning. Yet no one hears
All is lost, why do I try?
Hope whispers faintly, I spurn its lie
How could this happen? Why didn’t I see?
This pit of lead, right in front of me.
For I have writ a thousand words to hide
Alas! But in vain, for this cage lives inside
I fear the dark, I feared the light
I feared of being revealed
But trapped inside this horrid night
I fear being left concealed
I want to escape, I want to live!
What is this darkness that my will should give?
Why should I succumb to this terrible fate?
If death has come, it will be too late.
But then in horror and disgust
I find my name amid the dust
This prison is my own, all mine!
I placed these bars, created the grime
This black woe stems from none but me
I’ve made the lock but not a key.
The Writer
- to touch the stars
- Inwardly I'm a poet dressed in white sitting on the crescent moon tracing constellations with my fingertips, sitting by a dear silent minstrel. Outwardly I'm just a girl with dark eyes.
Love is the Movement
3 comments:
I like the first bit, but punctuation could use some work (I think). The use of commas and periods really add to the strength of a line. Some lines are meant to be strong and succinct (period), while others that lead into a better line need to trail out a bit (comma). Also, I don't like the "!" after "grasp." I don't think it's really necessary.
I love the concept. But "light" and "night" are common, overused rhymes. They work here wonderfully, but if you could come up with a more obscure rhyme it *might* be better.
The first like of the last bit could go like, "I want escape; I want to live!" rather than what you have. But that's just me. Lastly, I don't like the "Mine/grime" rhyme. Maybe it's just the word "grime."
But overall, I like it.
It's so awesome that you wrote "I fear the dark, I feared the light" in this poem. Look what I painted on the back of my stained glass window last fall. :-D
In my room
On display this spring
Stupid window ledge. :-P
(EDIT: Linked)
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